colombian-hooker-secret-service

In light of the Secret Service prostitute scandal, we thought we should enlighten you about the truth about Colombian hookers and prostitues, just in case you ever find yourself in need of this kind of information.

Top myths about Colombian Hookers and prostitutes

1) Colombian hookers prefer to be paid in US Dollars, not cocaine as many tourists mistakenly believe. Kilos of coke are way too hard to carry around and tend to be illegal.

2) The Colombian hooker that the Secret Service agent refused to pay did not demand $47 dollars as the media reported, but $800. $47 dollars does not even buy a cheap hotel room in Cartagena, much less a top shelf hooker.

3) If you refuse to pay your prostitute, she will repay you with a visit from La Policia. Pay your Colombian prostitute, and pay her well if you dont’t want you wife to leave you when you go home like a few Secret Service agents we know.

4) Prositution is legal in many parts of Colombia. Why this shocks many Americans is a mystery , since prostitution is also legal in many parts of Nevada. And it’s semi-legal in New Jersey as long as you are close to a tunnel with a motel that rents rooms by the hour..

5)¬†The Colombian prostitutes entangled in the Secret Service sex scandal are not Russian spies, in spite of what Sen. Chuck Grassley suggested Tuesday. How do we know? If they were Russian spies, do you think they would have gone pubic, or would they have blackmailed the agents instead? ¬†Hmmm? Nice try Senator Grassley, better stick to undermining Obama while you still have a job. And check for the boogieman while you’re at it, we hear hes hiding under your bed.


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