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Why I’m Dumping You: The Best Breakup Letter Ever
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Why I’m Dumping You: The Amazing Breakup Letter That Will Live Forever On The Internets

Is your boyfriend a total loser who has one  too many posters of Michael Phlps in a Speedo on his bedroom wall? It so you might want to cut and paste some of the 20 reasons this girl (or maybe it’s a boy?) gave for dumping their boyfriend.

why-im-dumping-you-breakup-letter

This is one  ex-boyfriend with serious issues. every time he mentions the president, he calls him Barack HUSSEIN Obama. He tellssevere one about the time he was abducted by aliens (who no doubt were sent by Obama.)

He kisses all family members on the mouth ( no tongue, please!)  and eats his cereal with water.

He’s even skeptical of the moon landing.

The fact that his favorite movie is Snow Dogs and his favorite actor is Kirk Cameron, are two of the reasons she’s breaking up with him.

He is also one of the last people on Earth who finds Jay Leno funny and still uses an AOL email address. Wait until he finds out AOL stands for Aliens On Line. 

He pronounces cousin as ‘cousint’, believes vegans eat bacon, and wore sweatpants to her grandmother’s funeral, thinking it was a casual occasion – never mind that he did manage to wear black!

Clearly these two just couldn’t hack it.

But there may be hope for him. She signs off with a curt ‘Have a nice life!’

 

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Giovanni
Best selling author, connoisseur of pop culture, and professional Urban Mythologist, debunking your life since whenever.

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