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The Search for Claire Swire
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dankeThis is only part of an e-mail chain called “the search for Claire Swires”. It has all the hallmarks of a great urban legend, including people now saying they’ve heard about it on the radio and the poor girl is in hiding now, and two people telling me they know guys who know the original sending guys.

Does anyone know if this is bogus or true? Funny either way, really, but it’d be good to know.

Did I send it on? hmm.. innocent bystander.. that’s me…

Read the jokes and then scroll up to see the unfoitunate response from Claire Swire highlighted in red, and help begin the hunt to return the e-mail to it’s owner…

 

—–Original Message—–
From: Poole, Charlotte [SMTP:CLP@ffwlaw.com]
Sent: Friday, December 08, 2000 2:09 PM
To: Secondment – Paul Hinton
Subject: FW: “yours was yum”

amusing scroll down
—–Original Message—–
From: Malhotra, Samidha [ mailto:samidha.malhotra@csfb.com]
Sent: Friday, December 08, 2000 1:55 PM
To: Hudson, Toby; ‘clp@ffwlaw.com’; ‘sophiec@foresight.co.uk’;
‘marie.smith@butterworths.com’; ‘louise.buczkiewicz@simmon-simmons.com’;
‘stephen.a.reid@sb.com’; ‘rachel.andrews@simmons-simmons.com’;
‘sarah.dinneen@entranet.co.uk’
Subject: FW: “yours was yum”

I know its mean, but v funny…poor girl!!
—–Original Message—–
From: David.Clark@cliffordchance.com
[SMTP:David.Clark@cliffordchance.com]
Sent: 08 December 2000 11:26
To: awj4255@hotmail.com; atif.karim@gb.unisys.com;
cwarrendickins@trowers.com; fiona.patten@sjberwin.com;
R.Crouch@battens.co.uk; SAdat78697@aol.com; samidha.malhotra@csfb.com;
Tim.Crocker@cliffordchance.com; Susan.Blatchford@cliffordchance.com
Subject: FW: “yours was yum”

scroll – the jokes are at the very bottom, but the real value is the
e-mails from Ms. Swire a bit further up

—–Original Message—–
From: Nicholas.Coddington@AllenOvery.com
[ mailto:Nicholas.Coddington@AllenOvery.com]
Sent: 07 December 2000 17:22
To: David.Downward@AllenOvery.com; RobF@CHSHEFF-TR.TRENT.NHS.UK;
david.clark@cliffordchance.com; garcia_felipe@jpmorgan.com;
Roundboy_8@yahoo.com; George.Knighton@AllenOvery.com;
james.caterer@artscouncil.org.uk; rtyler@huon.net; PJH@d4-design.co.uk;
stephfullagar@hotmail.com; Stephen.Thomas@Commerzbank.co.uk
Subject: FW: “yours was yum”

This is good.
It’s Loreal, but I’m worth it
—–Original Message—–
Subject: FW: “yours was yum”

This has apparently been going round Norton Rose. Very funny!

—–Original Message—–
From: Ferri, David [ mailto:ferridg@nortonrose.com]
Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2000 6:07 PM
To: ‘nick scouser’; ‘nick roth’; ‘alex’; ‘rick’; ‘joanna’; ‘bec’;
‘crispin’
Subject: FW: “yours was yum”

one of the best emails i’ve seen in yonks!!
HUNT HER DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!
—–Original Message—–
From: Falkner, Claire
Sent: 07 December 2000 19:56
To: Hames, Joel; Ferri, David; Drummond, Edward; Driver, Robert; Walker,
Steven; Murray, Grant; Knight, Peter; Newby, Chris; Moss, Jason
Cc: Banner, Heather; Boxer, Sonya; Williamson, Emma
Subject: RE: “yours was yum”

and she just doesn’t look like that type of girl – you can’t trust
anyone,
can you?
—–Original Message—–
From: Hames, Joel
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:55
To: Ferri, David; Falkner, Claire; Drummond, Edward; Driver, Robert;
Walker, Steven; Murray, Grant; Knight, Peter; Newby, Chris; Moss, Jason
Cc: Banner, Heather; Boxer, Sonya; Williamson, Emma
Subject: RE: “yours was yum”

http://www.google.com/search?q=cache:community.icollector.com/++%22claire+
swire%22&hl=en
found her
—–Original Message—–
From: Ferri, David
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:50
To: Falkner, Claire; Drummond, Edward; Driver, Robert; Hames, Joel;
Walker, Steven; Murray, Grant; Knight, Peter; Newby, Chris; Moss, Jason
Cc: Banner, Heather; Boxer, Sonya; Williamson, Emma
Subject: RE: “yours was yum”

what a top lass
let’s start a campaign to find her
—–Original Message—–
From: Falkner, Claire
Sent: 07 December 2000 19:35
To: Drummond, Edward; Driver, Robert; Hames, Joel; Walker, Steven;
Murray, Grant; Knight, Peter; Ferri, David; Newby, Chris; Moss, Jason
Cc: Banner, Heather; Boxer, Sonya; Williamson, Emma
Subject: RE: “yours was yum”

just found the same thing – still, how many swires are there in this
city?

—–Original Message—–
From: Drummond, Edward
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:34
To: Falkner, Claire; Driver, Robert; Hames, Joel; Walker, Steven;
Murray, Grant; Knight, Peter; Ferri, David; Newby, Chris; Moss, Jason
Cc: Banner, Heather; Boxer, Sonya; Williamson, Emma
Subject: RE: “yours was yum”

she isn’t NR actually now I’ve looked for her name on internal directory.
So we don’t know her email address.
—–Original Message—–
From: Falkner, Claire
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:33
To: Drummond, Edward; Driver, Robert; Hames, Joel; Walker, Steven;
Murray, Grant; Knight, Peter; Ferri, David; Newby, Chris; Moss, Jason
Cc: Banner, Heather; Boxer, Sonya; Williamson, Emma
Subject: RE: “yours was yum”

has anyone else been tempted to forward this back to her?
—–Original Message—–
From: Drummond, Edward
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:31
To: Driver, Robert; Hames, Joel; Walker, Steven; Murray, Grant; Knight,
Peter; Ferri, David; Newby, Chris; Moss, Jason
Cc: Banner, Heather; Boxer, Sonya; Williamson, Emma; Falkner, Claire
Subject: RE: “yours was yum”

they are all NR
—–Original Message—–
From: Driver, Robert
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:31
To: Drummond, Edward; Hames, Joel; Walker, Steven; Murray, Grant;
Knight,
Peter; Ferri, David; Newby, Chris; Moss, Jason
Cc: Banner, Heather; Boxer, Sonya; Williamson, Emma; Falkner, Claire
Subject: RE: “yours was yum”

who are these people? do they work at NR
—–Original Message—–
From: Drummond, Edward
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:28
To: Hames, Joel; Walker, Steven; Murray, Grant; Driver, Robert; Knight,
Peter; Ferri, David; Newby, Chris; Moss, Jason
Cc: Banner, Heather; Boxer, Sonya; Williamson, Emma; Falkner, Claire
Subject: FW: “yours was yum”

beggars belief. I feel honour bound to circulate this.
—–Original Message—–
From: Chait, Bradley
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:25
To: Tarbuck, Andrew; Caffarate, Nick; Townsend, Nathan; McDougall,
Jamie; Davies, Stuart; Drummond, Edward
Subject: “yours was yum”

now THAT’S a nice compliment from a lass, isn’t it?
—–Original Message—–
From: Claire Swire
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:12
To: Chait, Bradley
Subject: RE:

I hadn’t swallowed for years but yours was yum and very good for me too!
Apparently it’s very good conditioner for your hair too…getting a funny
picture in my head, giggling out loud and now having to explain to Dave
what’s so funny!

—–Original Message—–
From: Chait, Bradley [ mailto:chaitb@nortonrose.com]
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:10
To: ‘Claire Swire’
Subject: RE:

Not ALL the time I hope
(or so you would have me believe)

 —–Original Message—–
From: Claire Swire
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:07
To: Chait, Bradley
Subject: RE:

lucky I swallow so that wont be happening to me!

—–Original Message—–
From: Chait, Bradley [ mailto:chaitb@nortonrose.com]
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:06
To: ‘Claire Swire’
Subject: RE:

cute
—–Original Message—–
From: Claire Swire
Sent: 07 December 2000 15:53
To: Adrian James (E-mail); Benny Shipley (E-mail); Chait, Bradley;
Caroline Scotson (E-mail); Chris May (E-mail); Ellie Thorneycroft
(E-mail); Mark de st croix (E-mail); Matt Metos (E-mail); Pete Kenyon
(E-mail); Toby Clarke (E-mail)
Subject: o my god read this!

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.
He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She
says “But sir, its just a sperm bank!”, “I don’t care, open it now!!!” he
replies.

So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples.
The guy says “Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!”, she looks at
him “BUT, they are sperm samples???” , “DO IT!”. So the nurse sucks it
back. “That one there, drink that one as well.”, so the nurse drinks that
one as well.

Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, “See
honey – its not that hard.”

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About The Author
Giovanni
Best selling author, connoisseur of pop culture, and professional Urban Mythologist, debunking your life since whenever.

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