It looks like America’s great addiction to the black and green goddess of Starbucks has been broken faster than an old 5 dollar bill. Forget about McDonald’s dollar menu: second-quarter earnings down 77%! Maybe its the grimy bathrooms that every cab driver and meth head in the neighborhood uses as a second home. Or maybe it’s the constant turnover of staff as they try to make sure that no one is giving out those free coffer vouchers you used to get for all the wait times when takes longer to make a Frappucino than it does to have sex with a dozen cloned Pam Andersons.
The good news is America is drinking a whole lot less caffeine. The bad news is that it is still dead broke from the days of $5 per gallon gasoline, Halliburton’s no bid contracts and 32 percent interest on credit card bills. As Starbucks continues to close down stores by the hundreds, student will soon have to choose whether to once again do their homework in the library or head over to McDonald’s for the two dollar iced coffee with fries.
As Woody Allen once said, “These are my choices?”
