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Is The Susan Boyle Discovery Story an Urban Myth?
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Over 30 million people have seen Susan Boyle’s amazing YouTube clip, singing “I Dreamed A Dream” and leaving Simon Cowell and the Rest of The Free World Speechless.  It looks too good to be true.  Now suspicion is growing that this may be Simon’s latest trick on the public to buy more records in order to make himself even more impossibly wealthy than he already has become.

The telltale signs that this instant fame was no accident is in the scripted nature of the video itself.  The premise of the entire episode is that someone who looks like Susan Boyle (she actually looks quite ordinary in that part of the world), who is that OLD (she’s 47 years old, not 97), could not possibly have the voice of an angel.  But some of the best singers in the world only sing backup precisely because of music business people like Simon Cowell, who refuse to sign them just because of their looks.  Simon knows it, and by all appearances he is using our own preconceptions against us to create the biggest sensation since Clay Aiken.  And we know what happened to him.

Another giveaway: Susan’s cheeky and scripted response to the laughter that shes 47  years old: “And that’s just one side of me!” to the response a roaring crowd.  It seems too perfect. It is too perfect.  Face it world, you’ve been punk’d!

As the NY Post reveals:

“There is something disturbing about the collective rejection-embrace-elevation of Susan Boyle. There is the element of self-congratulation in the viral spread of this link around the Web, the idea that we, the secondary viewers, the judges of those who are judging, are far more evolved. There is the clip itself, suspiciously ready-made for online consumption: A 7-minute movie, slick and pithy in its perfect execution of the underdog narrative. (That something like “Rocky” took two hours to tell now seems antediluvian.) There is the classic David vs. Goliath subplot, the primal satisfaction of seeing the bully (Cowell) slain by such a seemingly inferior force. And there is the profound desire for this entire thing to be authentic, which in and of itself suggests that it probably isn’t. Not since P.T. Barnum has there been a show business master of the trompe l’oeil like Simon Cowell.

This is from the newspaper published buy the same company that owns Fox, American Idol and just about everything else that Simon Cowell does that makes real money. But does this mean that Susan Boyle cannot sing/ Of course not.  But the setup itself is transparently ridiculous. Don’t take our word for it, read the Post:

“This isn’t to suggest that Boyle herself is a hoax (though she does seem a bit too comfortable on that stage, parrying with Cowell, to be a complete naif). But the notion that Cowell was unaware of Boyle’s existence, let alone discordant looks and talent level, before she ever took the stage, is flatly ridiculous.”

OK People, Susan Boyle had already recorded a CD for her Church–and if you believe for one minute that Simon Cowell hadn’t heard it already and plotted this whole feel-good episode just so he could go buy a bigger yacht, then I have a used yacht with Simon’s name on it to sell you.  It’s all so eerily similar to the people who have been winning on American Idol,  those “Unknowns” who have already had record contracts (Ruben Studdard among others), toured with bands (Daughtry), or spent a decade auditioning in front of everyone in the business (this year it’s Adam With That Crazy Wild Voice Lambert).

We love Susan Boyle, because we know the best talent isn’t usually the best looking (Just ask Madonna, or Britney, Or Lindsay, or…).  But don’t be fooled for a minute by this brilliant piece of PR while you load up on your Susan Boyle Christmas/Christian/Opera/Country/Easy Listening and Greatest Hits CDs.  We just hope she makes more money on the deal than Simon, but that will never happen.

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Giovanni
Best selling author, connoisseur of pop culture, and professional Urban Mythologist, debunking your life since whenever.

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