Nearly 10 percent of Americans are unemployed, but Jennifer Aniston is landing role after role! Face it America: Jennifer Aniston cannot act. Yet just like everything else in the United States of generic, mediocrity sells. And sells. And then they make a sequel (like Sex and The City II). And everyone goes and sees it. Suckers.
We have long suspected that Jennifer Aniston is not actually an actress but just a celebrity posing as an actress, much like George W. Bush was the son of a famous President posing as a famous President. Well our fears are now confirmed by JenAnn’s latest box office bomb The Bounty Hunter with Gerard Butler. In spite of reviews that say it is one of the worst movies ever, it has grossed over $50 million.
And the hits keep coming. Less than a week after it was announced Jen will be playing a cougar in the upcoming film Pumas, she’s inked a deal to headline Goree Girls, the true story of an all-female country band in a Texas prison in the 1940s. The only thing that will test her acting skills is if she has a lesbian love scene and convinces us her ass moves as fast as her agent does when it comes to signing movie deals.
Why does the media and Hollywood keep pimping out this sorry-assed actress to the public as America’ Sweetheart? Is it because due to our third world public eduction system that Americans are really really dumb? Could it be because an entire generation that was too young to remember MASH, All In The Family, The Jefferson’s and The Cosby Show grew up thinking Friends was actually funny? Is it because the crack babies born in the early 90s (who are just becoming legal now) think that anything that moves is funny? Yes. All of the above.
Prove us wrong Jen. When you do you next movie, act. Not like Rachel, not like America’s overpaid sweetheart. Act. Act like Johnny Cash during his infamous audition. If you could do just one role that summed you up, that told the world what you really are, what would you do?
